How to edit

I’m finally sitting down to edit and add to the crappy draft of the book. (That I’ve finally printed out to feel its weight and to be able to scribble on it – something digital writing will probably never be able to achieve.) Anyway, here are my expert-level steps for editing your work:

  1. Scroll through the document to see how long it is, looking for any interesting headers. Peruse the start and ending to see if there’s any logical connection.
  2. Happen to notice that ball of cat hair on the floor next to the desk.
  3. Look around and realize the whole floor is really dirty. Sweep frantically.
  4. While sweeping, notice that the floor really needs to be mopped. But today I want to write, so that will have to wait.
  5. Notice that I haven’t made the bed, so I have to do that to really start the day.
  6. In the bedroom, see a dirty article of clothing, quickly prepare a load of laundry to be washed.
  7. Meanwhile, observe all the random clothes lying around, hang them up in the closet. (I had been meaning to do that all week.)
  8. On the way to the washing machine, notice how dirty the living room floor is and sweep that, too.
  9. Now I’m feeling hungry and I realize I have no meals planned for the week and it’s Sunday.
  10. Buy a book on Kindle with recipes for estrogen detox. Skip to the meal plan section, will read the fluff (a.k.a. science) later.
  11. Pick some meals and make a grocery list.
  12. Fret that I don’t have enough time in the day to go to multiple stores to find all the niche ingredients, let alone prepare the meals for the week.
  13. Scrap that and sweep some more.
  14. Become aware of the inevitability of house cleaning that must happen after having achieved a crappy draft and laugh to myself. Doubt that I’m unique in this and decide to write about it.
  15. Publish this blog post and then start editing.

EDIT: This post has not been copy-edited for obvious reasons!!